


almighty vball cap’ns

by angelickenma



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aromantic Character, Canon Compliant, Captains, Chatting & Messaging, Crushes, Friendship, Gen, Group chat, Kind of ooc but, Queer Character, Skype, Swearing, Texting, Trans Character, Underage Drinking, minor mentions of sex, oikawa tooru cannot spell to save his life, plot twist: ushijima and oikawa get along, so many crushes, vine references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-02-18 21:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13109169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelickenma/pseuds/angelickenma
Summary: Oikawa wants some friends to cushion the loss of his volleyball team





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [national hot dad alliance is now calling...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683) by [dicaeopolis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dicaeopolis/pseuds/dicaeopolis), [owlinaminor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlinaminor/pseuds/owlinaminor). 



> hello!! I have finally felt the Need to Write once again. thank you to dicaeopolis & owlinaminor for introducing me to the glorious beauty of chat fic hell! please excuse the Mess that this fic is/will be (trust me that it was kind of on purpose)
> 
> vine referenced: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaNGKD4MTV0

_[November 2nd, 8:28PM]_

 

 **_Oikawa Tooru_ ** _added_ **_Sawamura Daichi_** _,_ **_kurokat_** _,_ **_BROKUTO_** _,_ **_Terushima Yuuji~_** _, and_ **_moniwa kaname_ ** _to_ **_almighty vball cap’ns_ **

 

 **_Oikawa Tooru_** _’s nickname is now_ **_alienkawa_ **

 

 **kurokat:** heyy oikawa uhhh wtf is this shit and when did u get my skype

 **alienkawa:** well u see i asked hinata to get it from his nekoma friend who also gave me bokuto’s. obviously “this shit” is a captains chat bc i need support in my time of need (aka realizing i’m gonna die when i have to leave my team) and thought u guys could understand n also be my friends bc i need more freineds

 **BROKUTO:** how tf did you get everyone else’s tho

 **alienkawa:** i have my sources don u really wanna know

 **BROKUTO:** that makes me frightened

 **alienkawa:** good

 **Sawamura Daichi:** I wouldn’t mind that

 **Sawamura Daichi:** You forgot a captain though

 **BROKUTO:** I’m fine with that!!!!!! But yeah isnt there another miyagi person

 **alienkawa:** no.

 **Terushima Yuuji~:** i’m p sure there is?

 **moniwa kaname:** oh it’s ushijima

 **alienkawa:** add him and i will get iwa-chan to drop kick you

 **moniwa kaname:** ???? why ??????

 **Sawamura Daichi:** His team kicks Seijoh’s ass every year

 **alienkawa:** DONT EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS ( >‘o’)>

 

 **_Sawamura Daichi_** _’s nickname is now_ **_fake™_ **

 

 **alienkawa:** anyways let’s get tjis fuckin show on the road. my cahat therefore my rules ok ok good

 

 **_fake™_** _’s nickname is now_ **_Sawamura Daichi_ **

 

 **alienkawa:** no fun

 **alienkawa:** firs trule, no one leaves unless they’re ready to fuckin die

 **kurokat:** i’m a bad bitch u can’t kill me

 **alienkawa:** im glad yiu have a high meme literacy kuroo!

 **kurokat:** my bloodstream is mostly memes lmao

 **alienkawa:** second rule, what is said/happens in the chat stays in the chat. esp if it is about a certain person who is so beautiful~~

 **BROKUTO:** keiji is so beautiful i know but i woULDNT EVER ADMIT THATTO HIMF RNAS

 **kurokat:** he keyboard smashes a lot more than most would expect

 **alienkawa:** i meant iwa-chan but keiji too  he is pretty cute

 **alienkawa:** thired n final ruele, no one judeg my spelling :((

 **moniwa kaname:** thired

 **Sawamura Daichi:** ruele

 **Terushima Yuuji~:** judeg

 **alienkawa:** DONT B MEAN TO ME （ つ﹏╰）

 **alienkawa:** daichi’s just jealous that i have the hottest ace

 **Sawamura Daichi:** I have the prettiest setter ever, and that’s all that matters to me

 **BROKUTO:** ALTHOUGH SUGA IS PRETTY KEIJI IS PRETTIER SOO IF YOUD KINDLY NOT LIE TO THE MASSES

 **kurokat:** anyways…… daichi’s a liar

 **alienkawa:** that’s where ur wrong

 **Terushima Yuuji~:** there’s no need to argue over who is prettier altho i would have to agree with oikawa

 **alienkawa:** thank you yuu-chan!!! (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥

 

 **_Terushima Yuuji~_** _’s nickname is now_ **_yuu-chan_ **

 

 **yuu-chan:** awww it’s cute

 **kurokat:** hey anyways u guys know what else is cute???

 **BROKUTO:** do not stARTT BRO IHDOBF

 **kurokat:** kenmaaaaa

 **BROKUTO:** I blame daichi for bringing up pretty setters

 **Sawamura Daichi:** How was I supposed to know it would get him started on Kenma again?

 **alienkawa:** who si kenma??

 **kurokat:** only the most PERFECT HUMAN BEING EVER

 **yuu-chan:** isn’t he kuroo’s boyfriend?? At least that’s what futakuchi said

 **moniwa kaname:** you know Futakuchi??

 **yuu-chan:** mhmm we’ve been friends for a few years actually!!

 **kurokat:** BACK ON THE TOPIC OF KENMA

 **kurokat:** no we’re not dating we r childhood friends

 **BROKUTO:** they’re pining for each other (kenma’s super lowkey abt it) and neither of them will accept that the other one is into them

 **BROKUTO:** like today kuroo was SUCH A FUCKIN DORK BRO YOU WERE SO FUCKIN DUMB

 **BROKUTO:** KUROO WAS STRAIGHT UP STARIN AT KENMA SMILING W LIL TEETH !!!!! WHICH IS SUPER SUPER RARE RIGHT!!!

 **kurokat:** don’t expose me like this

 **alienkawa:** don’t mocj me :(((

 **BROKUTO:** KENMA NOTICED HIM STARING AND  ADKED WHY

 **BROKUTO:** DO YOUN KNOW WHAT KUROO FUCKIN SAID

 **Sawamura Daichi:** Knowing how much of a dumbass Kuroo is, it had to do with something in his teeth, right?

 **kurokat:** I KNOW IM DUMB OKAY DON’T BE RUDE ABOUT IT

 **alienkawa:** dear fucking god kuroo

 **moniwa kaname:** how dumb are you kuroo? I know we don’t know each other very well but you don’t just say that to your crush pfft

 **yuu-chan:** i said that to my crush once and she started c rying it was horrible

 **kurokat:** kenma just turned really red and went to check which is when i had to say “maybe it’s already gone” i felt my soul descend into hell

 **BROKUTO:** i literally kicked you bro you had nO EXCUSES HONESTLY

 **Sawamura Daichi:** I feel sorry for Kenma. Having a crush on Kuroo must be inconvenient.

 **kurokat:** and what does that mean daichi?

 **Sawamura Daichi:** I think you know what it means Kuroo

 **alienkawa:** THE sASS

 **yuu-chan:** did you purposefully do the ASS part in caps?

 **alienkawa:** maybe

 **Sawamura Daichi:** Daichi does have an ass that just won’t quit

 **Sawamura Daichi:** I’m sorry that was Suga

 **kurokat:** hey question does suga ever call you daddy

 **Sawamura Daichi:** Anyways.

 **BROKUTO:** HES NOT DENYING IT

 

 **_moniwa kaname_ ** _has left the group_

 

 **_alienkawa_ ** _added_ **_moniwa kaname_ ** _to_ **_almighty vball cap’ns_ **

 

 **_Sawamura Daichi_** _’s nickname is now_ **_daddy daichi_ **

 

 **daddy daichi:** I hate you Kuroo.

 **moniwa kaname:** damn it

 **alienkawa:** I TOLF YOU NO FUCKIN LEAVING

 **moniwa kaname:** just for this, i’m getting revenge

 **alienkawa:** you wouldnt dare

 

 **_moniwa kaname_ ** _added_ **_Ushijima Wakatoshi_ ** _to_ **_almighty vball cap’ns_ **

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** What is this?

 **daddy daichi:** A group chat with captains

 **moniwa kaname:** the ninth circle of hell

 **yuu-chan:** oh my god it’s ushijima wakatoshi

 **yuu-chan:** i’m nutting

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Nutting?

 **alienkawa:** first of all, kaname, this is an attack in my OWN HOME

 **alienkawa:** second of all, nutting over ushiwaka is a sin and is also punishable by death

 **kurokat:** nutting means ejaculate but it’s usually used ironically

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Please do not nut over me.

 **BROKUTO:** JOEDOUBQFEJBOF IM SCEEAMINF FNQELKNGRNRLK

 **BROKUTO:** THIS IS RTHE AAME FEELIN AS WHEN I WIN KDMQKNVONO WTF

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Are you okay?

 **BROKUTO:** NEVER BETTER

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** ...Okay.

 **kurokat:** he’s like this sometimes

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Oh okay.

 **alienkawa:** altho im not too pleased abt you being here ushiwaka i guess it would b violating mt oqn rulws if i kicked you out

 **alienkawa:** quick recap: rules are no leaving the chat, no one repeats whats said, wnd no one judges my spelling. daichi’s a fake wnd suga calls him daddy. kuroo has a huge crush on kenma

 **daddy daichi:** I didn’t say he did

 **yuu-chan:** you didnt have to dude

 **kurokat:** we arent kinkshaming you dw

 **BROKUTO:** that’d be rly mean. youd have to do worse to get kinkshamed by us honestly

 **alienkawa:** daddy isnt even that bad i mean you cOULd like watersports

 **moniwa kaname:** IM TOO YOUNG FOR THIS

 **yuu-chan:** i’m actually the youngest

 **yuu-chan:** BUT IM ALSO TOO YOUNG FOR THIS

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** What’s watersports? Isn’t that swimming?

 **kurokat:** not the same ushi not the same

 **daddy daichi:** Guys it’s past 11:30, so I’m going to bed. I have practice in the morning

 **alienkawa:** ok good jight daddy!!!

 **kurokat:** night sawamura “ass that wont quit” daichi

 **BROKUTO:** SLEEP TIGHT DAICHI

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I’m going to go to bed too. Good night.

 **moniwa kaname:** night guys!! sleep tight don’t let the bedbugs bite :)

 **yuu-chan:** what if i want them to bite?

 **moniwa kaname:** good night to everyone except yuuji :) he can go choke :)

 **yuu-chan:** youre super shy in person but a straight savage online

 **moniwa kaname:** actually I’m a gay savage

 **alienkawa:** IM DONE GOT O BED


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes i wrote a new chap before but here i am actually postin it !

_[November 4th, 12:12PM]_

 

 **alienkawa:** i cant stop thinkinf about iwa-chan’s biceps it was dostracting me in class today

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** How is your relationship with Iwaizumi-san?

 **alienkawa:** we arent dating ushiwaka (;_;)

 **daddy daichi:** Really? Are you sure?

 **alienkawa:** yoy think i wouldnt knownabout mt own relationship with the loml???? no we are not dating dont rub it in

 **daddy daichi:** I’m shocked

 **kurokat:** daichi told me you guys were??????????? daichi lied

 **daddy daichi:** I had good reason to believe they were

 **alienkawa:** us beinf cute af and cpupley isnt a valid reason ok :(

 **BROKUTO:** do you have feelings for him?!!!

 **alienkawa:** well yeah

 **daddy daichi:** Why did you kiss him at that Seijoh house party you invited Suga to?

 **alienkawa:** im sorey what

 **daddy daichi:** Remember that Seijoh house party you dragged Suga to and he dragged me? It was a month or so ago

 **alienkawa:** i think so? idk tbh i go to a lot of parties to keep my fanbase and body count up

 **yuu-chan:** SHIT

 **alienkawa:** im kidding i only go to like two a month and rarely hook up with people

 **kurokat:** i remember that night bc daichi drunk texted me

 **moniwa kaname:** that was a good party but only because futakuchi came to our weekend practice hungover and threw up all over the track

 **yuu-chan:** I remember that night well ヽ(*＾ω＾*)ﾉ

 **alienkawa:** thats cruel yet amazing lmao

 **alienkawa:** ANYWAYS WHAT ABOUT ME KISSING IWA-CHAN

 **daddy daichi:** You came up to me and Suga after you danced with Hajime, and you kissed him right in front of us

 **alienkawa:** no sweat then ε-(´∀｀; ) we’ve pecked during the Traditional Seijoh Truth or Dare™

 **daddy daichi:** It wasn’t a peck

 **alienkawa:** OH MY FOD

 **alienkawa:** WHAT DID I FUCKIN DO HHHHHHHH ((((；ﾟДﾟ)))))))

 **daddy daichi:** You grabbed him and kissed him quite passionately actually

 **alienkawa:** LET ME DIE

 **alienkawa:** HE WAS THE DD THAT MEANS HE WAS SOBER I WAS SO WASTED DJDJJDJDJDN IM READY TO FUCKING DIEEEEEE

 **alienkawa:** I NEED TO GO BACK FO CLASS BUT WHEN IM DOME TODAY IM FUCKING SPRINTING INTO A CASKET

 

_[November 5th, 6:52PM]_

 

 **alienkawa:** so i tried throwing myself jnto a pond on the way home and iwa-chan pulled me backt by my hand

 **alienkawa:** sufficient to say that my death attempt was thwarted but i felt elated nc i Tochhed hus handnajahshw

 **alienkawa:** this calls for a glass of wine and watching star wars during my homework

 **daddy daichi:** How can you get things done?

 **alienkawa:** half my homeowkr was done in class as it is so ill be fone

 **kurokat:** i forget that oikawa is actually decently smart whoops

 **moniwa kaname:** that’s really rude kuroo apologize

 **kurokat:** im sorry oikawa for assuming you were stupid

 **alienkawa** : im overlooking it bc im in a good fuckin mood!!!

 **BROKUTO:** YOOOO YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOUOD SO DO

 **yuu-chan:** what brokuto??

 **BROKUTO:** GET OIKAWA TO STOP FUCKIN PINING

 **BROKUTO:** AWWWW YOU CALLED ME MY SCREENNAME THATS SO CUTE !!!!!

 **yuu-chan:** is…. is that not your real name?

 **BROKUTO:** NO!!! ITS BOKUTO KENTAROU BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BO

 **yuu-chan:** i feel so stupid omg :(

 **BROKUTO:** DONT!!!! I DIDNT PROPERLY INTRODUCE MTSELF ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! YOURE SO CUTE YUUJI AWWWW

 **alienkawa:** actually none of us did i shouldve made us do thay shouldmt i

 **daddy daichi:** Too late now

 **alienkawa:** guess so （ つ﹏╰）

 **kurokat:** ok daichi why tf do you use proper grammar

 **daddy daichi:** I just feel like that’s how it should be, but I don’t like ending non-serious messages with periods. I feel like it puts some kind of weight on it

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Why don’t you?

 **BROKUTO:** doesnt express my emotions enough tbh

 **alienkawa:** i have sbit spelling so tbh its pointless now

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I see. Why don’t you use autocorrect?

 **alienkawa:** I dont wanna jajaisdjiwa

 **alienkawa:** plus i dont havse aufocorrecr on my conpurwr which is whay im on right now

 **yuu-chan:** conpurwr

 **moniwa kaname:** yuuji don’t be rude to him

 

 **_moniwa kaname_** _’s nickname is now_ **_pure angel_ **

 

 **pure angel:** thanks I guess?

 **pure angel:** hey tooru your keyboard smash has iwa in it. your subconscious even fawns over him

 **alienkawa:** OK YA KNOW WHAT

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** What?

 **alienkawa:** THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Oh

 **yuu-chan:** READDRESSING WHAT BOKUTO SAID! we should totally get iwa and oikawa together. they would be so cute ahhhhh

 **alienkawa:** i ageee howeber how would i get iwa to agree and hiw will i seduce him

 **pure angel:** have you actually tried to seduce him before this point?

 **alienkawa:** i mean not reallt tbh hes straight thats my main issue

 **kurokat:** he’s straight?

 **daddy daichi:** He’s definitely not straight. There is no way in hell

 **alienkawa:** he is!! i would know

 **alienkawa:** first off, we’re best friends who tell each other lirerally everything. we’ce been there for each other dueing our wprst moments ever and he is always my go-to. hiding his sexuality deom me, a super known bi man, would be unlikely esp since we are best friends right??

 **alienkawa:** two, i go to pride w him ehery yesr right????

 **kurokat:** really? I didn’t coin him for going to pride at all

 **alienkawa:** well he does bc i feel super uncomfortable going to tokyo on my own and ive never had a ton of gays as criends richt? like none i was super close to

 **alienkawa:** every year he wears a tie dye shirt and writes ally on his biceps

 **alienkawa:** PER HIS REQUEST! MEANING! HE NOT GAY!!!

 **alienkawa:** ao im stuck having a crush on a atraight guy its fine itS COOL

 **kurokat:** maybe you should bring up his sexuality before you go to pride. see where that leads

 **BROKUTO:** I only know Akaashi’s sexuality bc I “”casually”” asked!! it wouldnt hurt to ask. sometimes its weird to bring that shit up ya know??

 **pure angel:** I agree with Bo. unless prompted I don’t like telling people certain things. could be the same with Iwa

 **alienkawa:** i guess you cuys are righr. thank you. i need to fonish mt homewoek and also the rest of this movie so ill talk to you guys later!!!

 **kurokat:** glad we could help!! bye!

 **BROKUTO:** BRO

 **kurokat:** BRO

 **BROKUTO:** BRO COME OVER I HAVE TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING RIGHT NOW AND I WANT TO FILM YOUR RESPONSE

 **kurokat:** ? on the way but wtf ?

 

_[November 5th, 11:03PM]_

 

 **BROKUTO:** so I got pictures of Kenma and Akaashi’s shopping right? they were sUpeRRR cute pictures of Akaashi

 **BROKUTO:** but kuroo literally NUTTED OVER KENMA IN LEGGINGS

 **yuu-chan:** like actual nut?

 **BROKUTO:** it sure sounded like it

 **kurokat:** do not. do. it.

 **BROKUTO:** wanna see for yourself?

 

 **_BROKUTO_ ** _attached a video_

 

 **alienkawa:** ou my gicking god he literally sounds like he had an orgasm iM DECEASED GOODBYR WORLD

 **yuu-chan:** futakuchi is concerned with the noises coming out of my mouth oh my goD

 **daddy daichi:**  In other news, I’m rescinding my friendship from you Kuroo

 **kurokat:** IT WAS A GLORIOUS PICTURE OKAY

 **kurokat:** BECAUSE OF THAT EMBARRASSMENT, FUCK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

 **alienkawa:** dont tempt me with a good time tetsu-chan ;)

 **kurokat:** ooo bby ;)

 

_[November 8th, 12:09AM]_

 

 **_BROKUTO_** _’s nickname is now_ **_thicc owl_ **

 

 **thicc owl:** okay wtf

 **pure angel:** that’s what your name /roughly/ translates to in english. I took the opportunity

 **alienkawa:** suddenly im rrsdy for a coffin bc thicc owl has KILLED MF its 2 accurate

 **thicc owl:** fuck you and good night

 **alienkawa:** dont tempt mr with a good time thicc owl ;)

 **kurokat:** you’re cheating on me with THICC OWL of all people? I’ll have you know that i have a larger penis

 **thicc owl:** BRO WE WERE DRUNK AND AGREED TO NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT WTF

 **thicc owl:** YOUVE SOILED THE FRIENDSHIP GARDEN BITCH

 **thicc owl:** GOOD NIGHT

 **alienkawa:** i did…. not see that coming at fuckin alk og my fuckin gpd

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Although I don’t mind knowing weird things about others, this is too much for even me.

 **pure angel:** I cannot believe what I have started. mother please forgive me

 **yuu-chan:** i went to put yall on do not disturb… i cannot beLIEVE

 **daddy daichi:** There are things we should never know about. This is one of them.

 **alienkawa:** im ltierallt PISSINF MT SELF

 **daddy daichi:** I think you broke him

 **thicc owl:** Kuroo wants me to deliver a message

 **thicc owl:** he says that despite his length advantage, i have a girthier dick and we have decided to end the argument

 **kurokat:** i’m sorry bro ily

 **thicc owl:** bro i could never stay mad at you but i swear to god if you reveal worse stuff i will send kenma every piece of blackmail i have

 **kurokat:** deal bro

 **daddy daichi:** Oh my fucking god

 **alienkawa:** girthy n any RELATEF WORD is the aORST WORD EVER I SWEAT TO GOD

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I’m logging off because of that.

 **yuu-chan:** IM GOING NOW BYE FUCK YOU IM INNOCENT

 **pure angel:** IM A PURE ANGEL SO GOOD NIGHT BYE NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN BC OF THIS

 **alienkawa:** im deceased good fuckni nigh im

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats* pls let me know if u love it and if u dont just dont make me cry


	3. Chapter 3

_ [November 11th, 6:29PM] _

 

**yuu-chan:** question for everyone 

**yuu-chan:** what’s the gossip/drama on your teams? spill the tea

**alienkawa:** oh my god my entire team is probably gay except iwa (who is the only one who MATTERS ITS FINE)

**daddy daichi:** Same here. I do know my coach is fucking our faculty advisor

**yuu-chan:** HOLY SHIT WHAT LMAO

**daddy daichi:** Suga and I caught them making out very passionately one day when we went to coach’s shop to get match tapes 

**kurokat:** i saw that coming

**kurokat:** well lev’s parents recently called me and asked why he had so many bruises on his shins

**kurokat:** couldn’t just say that yaku kicks him a lot so i bullshitted a lie about drills and how he’s shit at them

**alienkawa:** mattsun and makki refuse to go to pride w me this year bc they said they dont xare abt their sexualityies wtf

**alienkawa:** they said it sisnt really matter whay they were bc theyre in love and dont see themselves w anyone else

**pure angel:** they’re dating??

**alienkawa:** yeah i think theyve been dating for like 4??? ish years now thsyde super cute j lvoe their relationship so much

**thicc owl:** have you ever walked in on them at practice? i’m curious now

**alienkawa:** only a few times and it was mever antthing too bad ya know wht i mean?? usually just makinf out and maybe groping

**alienkawa:** i know for a facr that they havent done full sex yet

**alienkawa:** they said rheyre waitin until we go to nationals bc theyre sentimental FUCKS. despite what u may think abt them individually, their rwlationsip is actually realy pure and swwet

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Never going to happen. Guess they’ll die virgins. 

**daddy daichi:** That’s not going to happen. 

**kurokat:** HOLY SHIT USHIJIMA OH MY FUCKIN GOD

**thicc owl:** OUT OF POCKET AMAZING SHIT RIGHT THERE HOLY FUCK

**alienkawa:** just you wait ushiwaka-chan ! 

**kurokat:** speaking of nationals, is that why you hate ushijima?

**alienkawa:** I hate Ushiwaka bc i do not want to go to shittytorizawa

**alienkawa:** maybe my talents could have been more useful there?

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** They would have been. 

**alienkawa:** however i wanted ro atay with iwa-chan

**alienkawa:** we both tried to go there and he didnt get in

**alienkawa:** so we went to seijoh and i couldnt hahe asked for better 

**alienkawa:** so please fuck off about that ushiwaka 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I didn’t know it hurt you that bad. I apologize for being so insistent then. Although, I thought I was just being honest. 

**alienkawa:** i mean yes yoy were. my talents probs would have beem more useful and whatever, but with my bad knee and iwa-chan not going there, i refused and i still refuse. i forgive you becayse i know toyre just a blunt person and frankly im just too nice~ and holding grudges will give me premature wrinkles 

**alienkawa:** doesnt mean im not gonna kick yur fucking ass next time

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I always look forward to kicking your ass. 

**daddy daichi:** I’m glad you two got that sorted out! 

**kurokat:** what a dad thing to say

**yuu-chan:** ANYWAYS

**yuu-chan:** altho im glad you two are cool now, i still wanna hear the juicy deets of your teams

**yuu-chan:** we dont have anything good going on currently

**daddy daichi:** Ennoshita and Tanaka are basically dancing around each other. They’re super into each other, but Ennoshita thinks that Tanaka doesn’t like him and Tanaka’s dumb as fuck

**yuu-chan:** i wouldn’t have called that relationship honestly

**daddy daichi:** Yeah neither would I, but it’s blossoming or however Kiyoko described it. She’s the one who set it up (mostly to get Tanaka to leave her alone)

**thicc owl:** Keiji said the only drama going on the team is when i act like a child :((((

**kurokat:** you know he means it with love bro

**thicc owl:** someone made a joke that he wanted to be my daddy at practice today wtf

**thicc owl:** we’re both switches so the likelihood of that is slim in our POTENTIAL future relationship

**thicc owl:** oh my god why did I just say that

**thicc owl:** CAN YOU DELETE MESSAGES

**alienkawa:** definitely pegged keiji for a switch but not you honestly

**alienkawa:** you seemed like a top 

**thicc owl:** CAN WE NT DISCUSS THIS

**daddy daichi:** Nope. We’ve discussed my daddy kink, much to my dismay, so it’s only fair

**thicc owl:** yall hate me

**kurokat:** texan

**thicc owl:** I AM NOT TEXAN KEIJI SAYS IT!!!

**kurokat:** ok texans

**kurokat:** how do you even know that keiji is a switch

**thicc owl:** kenma told me bc keiji told him

**kurokat:** do you know what kenma is

**alienkawa:** bottom

**daddy daichi:** Bottom

**pure angel:** bottom

**thicc owl:** didnt say but probably a bottom

**kurokat:** god has blessed me

**kurokat:** okay ya know what let’s drop this

**alienkawa:** lmao keujroo is prnbbaily getting hard fuck im dead

**kurokat:** keujroo oh my god

 

**_kurokat_ ** _ ’s nickname is now  _ **_keujroo_ **

 

**alienkawa:** youre breaking a rule bu judging my speling

**daddy daichi:** That rule was broken the literal minute you made it, Oikawa

**alienkawa:** tru (╥﹏╥)

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Why didn’t you add the e?

**alienkawa:** ushiwaka, is it true or is it /tru/

**alienkawa:** there’s something abt tru that makes it better than true

**thicc owl:** tru

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Tendou agreed with you.

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I’ll just assume that it’s correct slang then. 

**alienkawa:** are you giod frined with tendou?

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Yes. He was one of my first friends when I was younger.

**daddy daichi:** He seems really nice

**alienkawa:** hes a complete pain in ehe ass whern were in matches

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** He said thank you to both of you. He keeps me grounded and somewhat humble.

**keujroo:** #relationshipgoals

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** We aren’t like that. At least I don’t think so.

**yuu-chan:** oooooh~~~ does someone have a crush?????!!

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** No, but things evolve. It could be different in the future, but I’m not sure. I don’t get crushes very often as it is. 

**alienkawa:** thats a pstine way thjo think of ihtihnfs

**thicc owl:** usually i can read your typos but what the FUCK did you just say

**pure angel:** “that’s a positive way to think of things”

**thicc owl:** ohhhhhhhh

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I like to think that things will develop between us, but for right now, we’re just friends. He comes over a lot, and he plays with my hair and holds my hand. It’s pleasant.

**thicc owl:** THATS SO CUTE AWWWWW

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Tendou is blushing. It’s cute :)

**alienkawa:** thank u kaname for the traslaton!!! 

 

_ [November 11th, 9:42PM] _

 

**yuu-chan:** ok so you guys realize that now we have 3 /missions/ right?

**yuu-chan:** 1\. get iwa-chan and oiks/my fathers together 2. get kuroo kenma’s lil heart 3. help bo get keiji’s switch ass 

**alienkawa:** omg am i godo dad yuu-chan? i love gou so much son !!!!

**alienkawa:** im tellin iwa thatbn we have a son now!! 

**yuu-chan:** yes you’re a great dad!! tell my other father that i love him

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Tendou said we should accept all the missions, and he wants to help. I personally think Iwaizumi and Oikawa would be great together. He’s very loyal whenever Oikawa is upset, and he can deal with his constant pouting. It’s admirable. 

**keujroo:** ok i’m cackling over 3 but i would love kenma’s heart it’s probably really pretty just like he is

**yuu-chan:** i gtg father n friends, talk to you guys later!!!

**alienkawa:** iwa-chan acceptd u as our son !! i love u my boi ❤（っ＾▿＾）

**yuu-chan:** love you dad! ❤️ 

**daddy daichi:** I honestly love your emojis Oikawa. They’re so cute 

**alienkawa:** finally somrone appreciates them!!! Iwa-chan hates them :( he says theyre nannoging

**keujroo:** only slightly but it’s part of you so he should accept that

**alienkawa:** he says mean things sometimes but never rly means it so i have no dojbt its the same in tnhins case honestly

**keujroo:** ah I see. Kenma does the same but it’s never rude, just kinda passive if that makes sense

**thicc owl:** yeah bro it totally does!!! I feel like keiji just kinda puts up with me? but like not in a bad way

**alienkawa:** that’s so cute!!!

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Tendou blushes because of me which is all I really want for right now.

**daddy daichi:** Suga puts up with me being really stressed about college prep classes. He’s a really good boyfriend because he keeps me grounded

**alienkawa:** daichi n suga r actual #relationshipgoals tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im dead inside bc i just started my second semester of college so wish me luck


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi wow i've had this written but forgot to update im sorry lmao

_ [November 13th, 4:56] _

 

**daddy daichi:** Imagine if corn dogs had legs

**daddy daichi:** Like, imagine if they had four legs like doxines 

**daddy daichi:** Would you eat the legs?

**yuu-chan:** are you high

**pure angel:** chris, is that a weed

**alienkawa:** no this is a crayon

**pure angel:** i’m calling the police *dials 911 into the fuckin microwave*

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** 911 what’s your emergency

**daddy daichi:** Excuse you. I don’t do drugs

**daddy daichi:** Noya just drew this fucking corn dog with LEGS. I can’t stop imagining eating one

**daddy daichi:** Now I want a corn dog

**keujroo:** daichi what the actual fuck is wrong with you

**daddy daichi:** I was just thinking about it

 

_ [November 15th, 9:19PM] _

 

**keujroo:** i’m fucking wheezing

**keujroo:** i have never been this conflicted in my whole life

 

**_keujroo_ ** _ attached a photo _

 

**thicc owl:** is that kenma in a skirt

**keujroo:** that my good sir is what my wet dreams are made of

**keujroo:** kenma in a skirt is the holiest fucking sight i have ever seen and i am witnessing it and kenma’s head is on my back it a good day

**alienkawa:** two things

**alienkawa:** 1\. Kenma looks so fucking ogood no WONDER YOU S AID HE WAS THE MOST PERFECT EVER ISWJPIFF

**alienkawa:** pls tell kenma i love his skirt it;s so cute i cri

**keujroo:** he said thank you!!

**alienkawa:** two, why his head on ur back

**alienkawa:** soinds like a weird position

**keujroo:** i’m on my stomach because i’m doing homework and skyping you gays while his head is on my back playing a game

**alienkawa:** excuse me some of us are bi

**yuu-chan:** don’t not include us u meanie

**yuu-chan:** father tell him to stop being mean to me :(

**keujroo:** plot twist is that i am his other father n not iwachan

**alienkawa:** i thought our nighr of pasdion was supoosed to be a secrrt tetsuro! 

**keujroo:** i just can no longer contain my love for you tooru… i want the world to know the love we share and i want to be in my son’s life!

**yuu-chan:** daddy?

**daddy daichi:** Yeah?

**daddy daichi:** FUCK. 

**keujroo:** OH YM GDO IM ACKLING I DISTURBD KENMA BUT IT WAS WORTH IT

**thicc owl:** YOU PLAYED YOURSELF

**alienkawa:** oh m y fuckin god i love you dsivh ur my secnod favoitte

**keujroo:** dsivh

**pure angel:** it’s not as good as keujroo don’t try to make it catch on

**keujroo:** wow okay. just attack me it’s fine fuck you all

**alienkawa:** too kinky for me smh

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** That… That’s enough.

**alienkawa:** even ushiwaka’s at a loss for words fucknnlkwnd

 

_ [November 20th, 6:53PM] _

 

**yuu-chan:** i thought of a way to complete the missions

**yuu-chan:** step one (@my dad) confirm your target’s sexuality

**yuu-chan:** step two seduce him

**yuu-chan:** step three d8

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Incredible.

**alienkawa:** i csn feel the sarcasdm from that dnkfnek

**keujroo:** wow that didnt help at all yuuji

**yuu-chan:** fuck u kuroo you got anything better?

**keujroo:** fuck u 2

**alienkawa:** prides in alnost 3 weeks so maybe it’ll come out bu then!!

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Are you going with Iwaizumi to pride again this year?

**alienkawa:** mhm! it’’s tradituon tbh n i would miss iwa-chan’s sweaty biceps if he didnt fo (❁´ω`❁)

**alienkawa:** speakin od pride do u guys wanna see my outfit for it?? I deisgn n make m  y own shirts everyyear!!

**alienkawa:** this yr i just went with a p basic crop top w the bi heart but it;d bc i wanted my skirt to be the biggest thing!!!!

**daddy daichi:** Show us!

**pure angel:** I want to see!! you probs look super cute in a skirt tbh

 

**_alienkawa_ ** _ attached a photo _

 

**keujroo:** literally how has iwa not already snatched you up

**keujroo:** you look so damn cute i am screeching

**keujroo:** fuck it up!!! that’s my secret lover bitch!!!

**thicc owl:** why am i cryin in the club

**alienkawa:** stooooop i am not that cute i promise

**alienkawa:** not tear worthY odjweopn

 

 ** _thicc owl_** _attached a photo_

 

**alienkawa:** YOURE ACTUALLY CTIYNG HOLY SHI T NOW I AM PIFNFN YURE TOO SWEET I LOVE YOU KOTAROU

**daddy daichi:** You look amazing! Suga says that the shirt looks like it was printed but like in a good way. You’re gonna be hot as fuck at pride ❤️

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I have to admit that you look fantastic.

**pure angel:** I am DECEASED. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. you look cute as hEck and you’re gonna be the biggest cutie at pride!!!

**yuu-chan:** now I know where I got my devilish good looks from

**alienkawa:** OH MY GOD MT MOM HEARD ME CRYIN FROM UR COMPLIMENTS AN NOW FUCKIN IWACHAN IS HERE BC SHE WAS tOO CONCDRNED Oh MY fuCK IM DECEWsed IM READY 2 FUCING DIE IM NOT A BAD BTICH PLEAEE KILL ME

**keujroo:** NO YOU LOOK HOT YOU GOT THIS

**thicc owl:** GO SEE YOUR HOT BICEPED MAN LOOKIN FLY AS HECK

 

_ [November 24th, 10:43PM]  _

 

**alienkawa:** bless that its the weekend bc we had a BREAKTHROUGH and i NEED TO PRECIESS IT ALL!!!!

**alienkawa:** you guys would b so proud rf me 

**alienkawa:** you know how i ssid that evety year iwa-chan just wears a tie dye shirt bc he s unoriginal n an ally?? 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I do. What about it?

**alienkawa:** he askd me to make him a shirt

**alienkawa:** he didn’t say the design just yet but like,,, he NEVER ASKS

**keujroo:** that’s actually a really big deal holy SHIT!

**thicc owl:** im so excited for you !!!

**alienkawa:** he said he would send me the design but he wants a muscle shirt so i will be so fuckin blessed this year im deAD

**yuu-chan:** i smell a coming out!!!

**alienkawa:** im also v excited to show off my art skills 2 iwa-chan!! he knws im a decent artiat but i nwver gave bim anything creative ya know????

**pure angel:** go oikawa!!

**keujroo:** i’m so pumped FOR YOU

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Do your best to seduce him using the shirt

**daddy daichi:** I wish you the best, my young padawan

**alienkawa:** suga has the perfect man jsbdja

**alienkawa:** five things my ideal man has 

**alienkawa:** biceps

**alienkawa:** daddy kink

**thicc owl:** die

**alienkawa:** hatred of minions

**yuu-chan:** tru

**alienkawa:** references of space related shows

**alienkawa:** a rly good sense of humor with awful puns that i love

**keujroo:** did you say puns

**keujroo:** does that mean that iwa loves puns

**alienkawa:** omg iwa-chan LOVES PUNS he swnds me puns literally arll day its so cyte i die insie

**keujroo:** i know a lot of science related ones holy fuck idEAL MAN

**alienkawa:** get your own.

**daddy daichi:** Oikawa, why do you believe in aliens so much?

**alienkawa:** do you want my full reason

**daddy daichi:** Well yeah

**keujroo:** I’m intrigued 

**alienkawa:** get a snack n get comfy 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Tendou and I have our hot chocolate ready. We want to be educated.

**alienkawa:** well it goes way back before the mid 1900s like some people like to believe

 

_ [cut for length]  _

 

_ [November 24th, 11:48PM] _

 

**keujroo:** holy shit

**thicc owl:** I believe

**alienkawa:** i know its fuckin amazn

**daddy daichi:** There’s no way that those were all true 

**alienkawa:** hey i said they were all reported as ufo sightings. there definitely are some that i included that i dont fully believe in but theyve been major events and key pieces to finding the truth

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** That was amazing. Tendou says he’s convinced. 

**alienkawa:** yeah im p proud of all the evidence i have~~ iwa says its obsessive bc i have a lot of my desk n closet space dedicated to it but i love it

**pure angel:** this is too much good night i need to truly think about this 

 

_ [November 25th, 7:23AM] _

 

**yuu-chan:** oikawa can I be unadopted

**alienkawa:** no

**yuu-chan:** how much time do you dedicate to this?

**alienkawa:** i check for articles thriughout the wk and watch vids or movies during the weekend so i would say anywhere from 6-12 hrs a wk. depens on how much iwa comes ovwr durind the wedkend too

**yuu-chan:** awww what do you guys do when he’s over? ;)))

**alienkawa:** we doNT DIDDLE OKAY

**daddy daichi:** Diddle?

**alienkawa:** DIDDLE

**alienkawa:** I DONT LIKE USINF THE FUCK WIRD TO MEAN SEX SO DIDDLE IT IS OKAY

**keujroo:** I love you Oikawa

**keujroo:** if you and iwa aren’t together by 25 i’m proposing

**alienkawa:** i’ll fuckin say yes

**thicc owl:** wow ok kuroo :(

**keujroo:** excuse me you’re my BRO oikawa is my baby

**alienkawa:** kuroo if we get marrued youl have to accwpt me calling you daddy to lITERALLY ANYONE

**keujroo:** give and take i guess babe

**alienkawa:** youre the dbest ❤️

**thicc owl:** as long as i always be your #1 bro and i can be the best man

**keujroo:** oikawa can you wear a dress

**alienkawa:** DRESSES R SO COMFUTRABLE OOF COURS I CAN

**alienkawa:** IVE ALREADY CHESEN THE STYLE IF U WANNE SEE!!!!!

**keujroo:** bb you’re supposed to wait until we get married!

**alienkawa:** i GHEss so :(((

**daddy daichi:** Wow just plan your wedding right now then

**daddy daichi:** Just don’t even try to get Iwaizumi first 

**alienkawa:** YOURE RICHF I NEED TO GIVE IWACHAN A CHANCE TO TAKE MY HSND IN MARRIAGS!!!!!

**alienkawa:** calm ur self @myself

**keujroo:** i’ll be patient purely because kenma owns my whole fuckin soul

 

_ [November 25th, 10:22PM] _

 

**yuu-chan:** okay so fr what do you and iwa/my dad do at sleepovers?

**alienkawa:** watch movies, homework if he sleeps over on a wknivhf, talk abt thingd, read manga, occasionally cuddle but we always cuddle when we go to bed

**daddy daichi:** You guys cuddle?

**alienkawa:** yeag sometimes

**daddy daichi:** Sounds gay

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Looks gay.

**yuu-chan:** smells gay

**pure angel:** tastes gay

**keujroo:** feels gay

**thicc owl:** IS GAY

**alienkawa** : I AM GAY

**alienkawa:** well rly im bi but YEAH GAY STILL

**daddy daichi:** And you insist he isn’t into you

**alienkawa:** HES NOT WE LOTERSLLT CHDDLE BC I HATE SLEEPING ON THE EDGES OF THE BEF AND HE DOESNT WANNA SLRRP ON THE FUTON SOOOO FUCK YOU ALL

**keujroo:** yall. im marrying a texan :/

**yuu-chan:** that’s how my bf and i were lmao. he always rolls off if he sleeps on the edge n we shared the bed when we had sleepovers so we ended up cuddling. turns out he truly enjoyed us cuddling so much that he developed feelings. we started dating after he drunkenly confessed about the cuddling 

**alienkawa:** AWWWW 

**alienkawa:** who’s ur bf???

**yuu-chan:** i’m not telling bc he’s not out yet and i don’t want to expose him

**keujroo:** that’s actually really sweet. kenma’s not “out” but it’s only bc he hasn’t like officially said it

**keujroo:** like he’ll tell you he likes men if you bring up having girlfriends or in general sexuality but he’s not like “hello im kenma and im Gay”

**yuu-chan:** im definitely the same way!! i’m open about being bi but i don’t just run around saying shit like that if it makes sense

**alienkawa** : i came out as bi on my social media so i would get people to stop calling me heterosexual or making jokes abt me being a ladies man or wtver. like ya im rly good with women but i know my way around a dick and i love men they r actually fuckin amazin

**keujroo:** i’m really open about being gay. like gay bumper sticker open but i don’t just start a conversation with me being gay 

**daddy daichi:** I never formally came out and said I was into men honestly. I just introduced my first boyfriend as my boyfriend, and that was that. Of course my family had questions, but it doesn’t really matter to them. They just kinda went with it

**alienkawa:** my mom is so supportive that she gave iwachan my grandmother’s ring to propose to me with

**alienkawa:** we arent even DATING

**keujroo:** she Knows

**keujroo:** kenma’s mom wants me to marry kenma but my mom doesn’t want me to even date him

**keujroo:** it’s bc of a bunch of stuff i can’t tell you but she’s really shitty for it

**keujroo:** she’s cool with me being gay but she just doesn’t understand everything. she’s too close minded

**thicc owl:** is it the Thing

**keujroo:** ye

**thicc owl:** ok mama kuroo u a lowkey piece of shit :/

**yuu-chan:** i can relate. my mom thinks that ultimately i’m confused and i’ll settle down with a nice girl

**alienkawa:** iwachans mom loves me but is very opposed to us dating. she says it would ruin me if something bad happened

**alienkawa:** i appreciate her concern but even if her son is into men and we date we r both big boys and can make our own decisions and pass our own judgment ya know???

**yuu-chan:** my bf’s parents would probably be really mad if he was gay

**yuu-chan:** they’re not great people by any means

**yuu-chan:** they walked in on us cuddling once and we said it was bc we just did that in our sleep to save his ass

**yuu-chan:** since then we started locking the doors when we go to bed

**yuu-chan:** he’s really scared what would happen if they knew 

**daddy daichi:** That’s terrible. Please tell him he can have my skype if he ever wants someone to talk to

**keujroo:** same here. kenma’s dad was really shitty to him in the past, so i know how to deal with this type of stuff

**alienkawa:** you guys should come over for tea at some point if you want and he’s comfortable with telling me

**alienkawa:** i will literally make sure that no one ever finds out besides me

**alienkawa:** iwa will also defend our son and his boyfriend he told me so

**yuu-chan:** is he there??

**alienkawa:** yeah but hes reading manga right now so hes not seeing what im saying. im using his computer bc mine broke and it has autocorrect 

**keujroo:** hey speaking of being with people where the fuck is bo and ushi

**daddy daichi:** I was actually thinking the same thing 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I need sleep. I have weekend practice at 5 in the morning.

**daddy daichi:** Ah, understandable! Get some rest :)

**alienkawa:** night ushiwaka!! ❤️ sleep tight 

**thicc owl:** sorry yall i’m skyping keiji !!! he’s wearing the sweater i left over there last weekend and i’m dead! he’s so cute! he’s so great! i wanna make him so happy!! ( ◠‿◠ )

**keujroo:** omg im screaming you guys are adorable

**keujroo:** right now i’m laying half naked in my bed while kenma takes a bath 

**alienkawa:** oooo seducing kenma i see

**keujroo:** nah we’re about to go to bed

**keujroo:** altho he said he needs a cuddle so we’ll see how the night ends ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**daddy daichi:** Well my night is just beginning so I’ll talk to you gays later

**alienkawa:** daddy’s getting it in

**daddy daichi:** You’re not wrong

**alienkawa:** FFFFFFFFF dead

**keujroo:** get it baby !

**alienkawa:** iwachans tired so ill talk to you guys tomorrow!! gn （＾ν＾）

**yuu-chan:** thank you guys. for everything

**alienkawa:** im always here for you okay? i live like a 30 min drive from u and i have a personal chauffeur (iwachan)

**keujroo:** you can always talk to me! i don’t bite and you need someone you can talk to. you can’t just bottle things up it’s unhealthy for you 

**yuu-chan:** yeah i know. thank you still ❤️

**alienkawa:** good night yuu-chan 

 

_ [November 26th, 3:42AM] _

 

**alienkawa:** iwachan is gay. this is the best day of my life

 

_ [November 26th, 10:52AM] _

 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Wow it only took you 18 years to figure that out. 

**alienkawa:** OKAY RUDE WAKATOSHICHAN :(

**daddy daichi:** When did you finally find out?

**alienkawa:** last night we were cuddling and talking and he said he’s gay but he couldn’t decide a design for his shirt so he just wants me to make a rly gay shirt !!!!!!!!!!!!!

**alienkawa:** my bara armed daddy is GAY !!!!!!!!!!!

**keujroo:** OH MY GOD THAT'S AMAZING

**keujroo:** he’s GAY that’s the best thing ever

**alienkawa:** well he said he wasnt rly sure where he stood but gay was a good place to start bc hes only had a crush on a boi

**alienkawa:** i also woke up in his neck it’s been a great day already

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** A single boy?

**alienkawa:** mhmm

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** One boy?

**alienkawa:** yeah ?

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Wow. You’re really fucking dense.

**keujroo:** he right tho lmao “shittykawa”

**alienkawa:** OK RUDE WAKATOSHI N TETSUCHAN

**keujroo:** well kenma asked me to spoon him and i watched him play games until 2:30ish

**keujroo:** it was so pleasant he’s so cute i scream

**daddy daichi:** Suga kept me up until 4.

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** You act like you’re complaining when you’re definitely not. 

**thicc owl:** ushi is a ROASTER

**pure angel:** ok so much stuff to catch up to wtf

**pure angel:** 1\. i believe in aliens

**pure angel:** 2\. you guys make my gay heart happy 

**pure angel:** 3\. im aro so like i don’t feel romantic stuff but it makes me so happy that u guys are so confident in yourselves like that 

**pure angel:** 4\. yuuji your bf is so cute give him a forehead smooch for me 

**pure angel:** 5\. i will also defend yuuji‘s bf or at least get aone to look scary af. he’s literally a big ball of LOVE who cooks us cookies all the time but he looks intimidating 

**pure angel:** 6\. we all knew he was gay you were the one (1) who didn’t know oiks lmao

**alienkawa:** ok first of all you should believe but second of all fUCK YOU

**yuu-chan:** you’re literally the purest angel evr  & he loves aone w all his heart so 

**yuu-chan:** how do i delete a message i feel like that’s kind of outing him

**pure angel:** i know so many ppl who love aone so it’s understandable 

**daddy daichi:** Aone and Hinata text a lot, and Hinata brought us a cake from him

**pure angel:** even if u did i would never say anything to him bc i don’t wanna freak him out

**yuu-chan:** thank you guys for being so understanding you’re the best

**daddy daichi:** No one wants to be outed

**alienkawa:** iwachan accidentally outed me to my sister but she was like “oh it’s fine” and he cried Pure

**alienkawa:** he just hit me for that

**alienkawa:** he let me tell yall that he was gay so its ok!!!

**daddy daichi:** Iwaizumi doesn’t seem like he’d cry a lot

**keujroo:** nah he totally does he seems like a Soft guy

**daddy daichi:** You only say that because Oikawa’s descriptions are Soft

**alienkawa:** tru but he’s kind of Soft

**alienkawa:** but you’re aro???

**pure angel:** yeah! like i’m gay but v much aro. i want a life partner but not like a bf if that makes sense

**daddy daichi:** Yeah that totally makes sense 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Like a friend soulmate. 

**pure angel:** yes exactly!!

**daddy daichi:** Tbh that’s really cute aw 

**alienkawa:** thats a cute term aw i love

**alienkawa:** but thats rly cool!!

**yuu-chan:** i remember futakuchi telling me abt you being aro and how you came out to the team

**pure angel:** LOOK THAT WAS EMBARRASSING 

**yuu-chan:** apparently aone kissed the top of his head and told him to stop crying bc he looked like a weenie

**pure angel:** I WAS WORRIED THEY WOULD REACT BAD AND EVERYONE SEEMED INDIFFERENT OR HAPPY AND THEN HE BELITTLED MY ANXIETY AND CALLED ME A WEENIE

**pure angel:** i mean it did calm me down BUT STILL

**alienkawa:** youde not a weenie ur a CUTIE!

**pure angel:** aw thanks oiks ❤️

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I told Tendou that swans were delicate even though they can attack and sometimes kill. It’s okay to be fragile at times. You can still be tough.

**pure angel:** ok i don’t wanna kill anyone but i appreciate the rest of the sentiment

**pure angel:** you guys r so cute and probably some of the best ppl i’ve met thru volleyball 

**alienkawa:** almighty vball cap’ns was an accurate title 

**daddy daichi:** Suga and I didn’t exactly tell the team until it was brought up. Noya said we needed to release our sexual tension as a joke, and Suga looked up and said, “We had sex this morning, so that’s probably not necessary.” I actually died

**alienkawa:** i told the team during drunken truth or dare ajejery bc they asked about my virginity 

**keujroo:** what the Fuck did you say omg

**alienkawa:** “i’ve only topped because i’m saving my booty for someone special in particular~” and then almost said it was iwachan when they asked who this someone special

**keujroo:** i cannot believe you

**keujroo:** everyone knows i’m in love with kenma besides him so 

**thicc owl:** keiji said that one of my weaknesses is that i get distracted easily during practice matches

**thicc owl:** then i said he made my gay heart thump fast

**thicc owl:** that’s how i came out to the team abt liking men but im demisexual technically

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** What does Keiji even look like?

 

**_thicc owl_ ** _ attached a photo _

 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** holy shit

**alienkawa:** he just stopped using proper grammar

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** that has to be the prettiest man I’ve ever seen um 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** is it weird to blush this hard

**thicc owl:** YES HES MINE

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Oh I would never date him. He’s just… beautiful. 

**thicc owl:** yeah he is :)

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Wait, if you told him that he made your gay heart thump fast and wore your sweater, why aren’t you dating?

**thicc owl:** it’s complicated? we’re both apprehensive bc i’ll b going to college but right now we’re easing into dating if that makes sense? i didn’t say anything bc we wanted to have a honeymoon phase but it’s only been like a week :)

**keujroo:** OK WOW KENMA KNEW AND I DIDNT

**keujroo:** i feel insulted

**thicc owl:** WELL KEIJI LIED BC I ASKED IF KENMA KNEW AND HE SAID NO IM CONFRONTING HIM LATER

**alienkawa:** congrats tho bo!! alo tetsuchan b happy for the couple smh

**daddy daichi:** Nice kill Bokuto ;)

**daddy daichi:** Why does Suga insist on winking all the damn time

**alienkawa:** THIS IS TOO MUCH IN TWO DAYS I GOTTA BLAST OFF THE PLANET WHEN WILL THE ALIENS TAKE ME

**keujroo:** oh my god


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol sorry i've DIED from this fic but here is the fifth chapter finally!! i've had this written but i rly wanna rewrite the next part which is mostly backstory so have this short like 900 word update and ill give you like 2-3k next chapter ok i promise   
> thank u ily

_ [November 28th, 7:16PM] _

 

**daddy daichi:** Okay I need vball related advice

**thicc owl:** shoot

**daddy daichi:** Hinata and Kageyama are a thing, and we’re out to team dinner currently. They won’t stop flirting, but I don’t want to be mean and separate them

**thicc owl:** okay what’s the problem exactly 

**daddy daichi:** We’re trying to have a Volleyball Discussion, but they won’t stop flirting 

**thicc owl:** if it’s official just separate them for the time being 

**thicc owl:** it’s like it’s nothing personal just business 

**keujroo:** sometimes when yaku and lev start doing that violent flirt thing i make them sit in opposite corners or don’t let them stand next to each other in line

**keujroo:** it’s rly simple to keep them from flirting

**thicc owl:** put hinata next to you and let kags fume

**daddy daichi:** What if they glare at me

**thicc owl:** daichi ur literally lowkey terrifying

**daddy daichi:** You’re right I can’t let my children get the best of me

**thicc owl:** hinata’s my son but ok whatever u say

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Why can’t he just belong to his real parents?

**thicc owl:** i’ll have u know that keiji BIRTHED HIM

**thicc owl:** keiji says he didn’t actually birth him :/

 

_ [November 29th, 6:14PM] _

 

**keujroo:** have you guys ever like looked at someone and thought “wow i’m gay”

**alienkawa:** yeah im p familiar w my reflection 

**thicc owl:** oh my god

**thicc owl:** but ye literally any time i look at keiji

**pure angel:** not really but that’s just me

**daddy daichi:** Suga’s face makes me think that a lot

**yuu-chan:** ngl but daichi’s thighs make me believe that god is gay too

**keujroo:** OH MY GOD

**daddy daichi:** I’m actually flattered. Thank you Yuuji

**daddy daichi:** Suga said he didn’t disagree with you

**yuu-chan:** you’re welcome daichi!!!

**yuu-chan:** all of you are literally beautiful tho and it reminds me that gays are awesome and hot af???

**yuu-chan:** like can we have a bokuto’s arms discourse

**thicc owl:** oho well of course we can

**yuu-chan:** also, let's talk about oikawa’s face in general. it’s actually so pretty i wish i was as cute as him

**alienkawa:** UM EXCUSE ME UR SO CUTE IM DEAD

**yuu-chan:** kaname? waist goals. have you ever seen a waist like his? his obliques are chiseled and his hips in general are to die for

**pure angel:** AHHHHHH THABK YOU!!!!

**yuu-chan:** ushi is like a sexy tree and i’m gonna climb it

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I appreciate the compliment, but stay on the ground. 

**yuu-chan:** and don’t even get me started on the entirety of kuroo ok

**yuu-chan:** hot face, great core muscles, trim yet solid muscles

**keujroo:** oh my god i’m so fucking red kenma is actually concerned for one (1) time in my life 

**yuu-chan:** like you guys are undeniably hot and if i wasn’t committed as fuck to my bf i would try to hit at least one of you if not all

**alienkawa:** oh my god i’m DEAD you’re so sweet and i love you

**alienkawa:** but also you’re so fuckin hot??? as a side note pls get a nose hoop but like

**alienkawa:** your piercings make me EMO

**keujroo:** i’d let you and your tongue rings do things to me ;)

**yuu-chan:** im scream

**yuu-chan:** NOT USED TO THIS BUT THABK YOY SO MUCH!!!!

**pure angel:** you’re literally one of the cutest people i know don’t doubt yourself yuuji

**daddy daichi:** Is your boyfriend cool with you looking at other people? Only reason I ask is because if Suga knew I looked at someone else in a sexual way, I would no longer have a dick

**yuu-chan:** oh yeah it’s okay for us

**yuu-chan:** but only if it’s non emotional

**yuu-chan:** like we had a threesome with some girl from his school a few days ago bc he thought she was hot

**pure angel:** back up

**pure angel:** you had a threesome?

**yuu-chan:** well yeah i just said that 

**keujroo:** WOAH GET IT YUUJI

**pure angel:** with your boyfriend and some other girl? from his school? not your school?

**yuu-chan:** correct why are you asking so many questions

**pure angel:** oh my fucking god

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Kaname, are you okay?

**pure angel:** i’m fine just realizing stuff

**alienkawa:** like, realizing stuff

**yuu-chan:** ok kylie

 

_ [December 1st, 7:18PM] _

 

**keujroo:** DAICHI JUST ACCIDENTALLY CALLED ME

**keujroo:** I CAN NEVER FACE SUGA AGAIN

**pure angel:** omg what did you hear

**keujroo:** HE WAS MOANING DADDY AND I COULD HEAR DAICHI DIRTY TALKING SKQKWKWJEJ

**pure angel:** HAHAHA FUCK THATS GREAT

**alienkawa:** DECEASED. DESD. GOODBYE. IM DPNE

**keujroo:** I WANT TO KNOW WHY I WAS THE ONE CURSED WITH THIS

**alienkawa:** ok daddy daichi why don’t i have your phone number this is unfair

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I have Daichi’s number. 

**alienkawa:** im calling the police iDESERVE DAICHIS NIMBER :(

**daddy daichi:** I just saw this and I hate you 

**daddy daichi:** I’ll text you Oikawa. I have your number 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look I Know that japan pride is in may and dec is cold but??? we have pride in oct (bc droughts + regulations) so my brain immediately was cool w the idea of a december pride. i realize that doesnt work irl (bc winter) but...... its fiction just go along w it ignore the dates im dumb & i might eventually go back and edit the dates at some point

_ [December 5th, 10:52PM] _

 

**yuu-chan:** guys 

**yuu-chan:** i need help. 

**alienkawa:** what is it?

**yuu-chan:** my bf’s parents caught us kissing. they’re really mad right now (not kick out mad but we’re both scared abt the future now)

**alienkawa:** what’s going on? the more i know, the more i can help

**pure angel:** we’re here for you yuuji ❤️

**yuu-chan:** right now they’re downstairs and we’re upstairs but we can hear them arguing and blaming each other for him being gay or some other stupid shit

**alienkawa:** but they won’t kick him out? if they do we can find SOME place for him to go

**pure angel:** i have a futon  & a large room

**yuu-chan:** it doesn’t seem like they will. they said they weren’t mad but they were “disappointed”

**yuu-chan:** ok they’re coming back up i’ll update in a min

**pure angel:** ❤️

**alienkawa:** ❤️

**daddy daichi:** We got you no matter what yuuji ❤️

**keujroo:** your real dad is here to love n support you

**yuu-chan:** ok we’re back 

**yuu-chan:** they’re going to “allow us” to keep dating 

**yuu-chan:** BUT we can no longer have sleepovers at his house. they’ve decided that if their son’s going to be participating in gay activities it won’t be in their house so we can have A sleepover at my house every other week + a date on the weekend when he’s not sleeping over

**yuu-chan:** i am no longer welcome in their house and they want me out as soon as possible

**alienkawa:** are you safe yuuji?

**yuu-chan:** i’m okay. but. what happens when i leave

**yuu-chan:** they took him downstairs bc they want to talk to him while i get my stuff ready to go and i can fucking hear him crying

**yuu-chan:** im really scared. 

**keujroo:** hey yuuji you cant be scared right now 

**keujroo:** you can’t let anyone see you scared. they’ll use your fear as a tactic and it’ll escalate  & spur them on, and your boyfriend needs you and your support right now. 

**keujroo:** humming usually helps. squeezing a pillow. you can even try making funny acronyms. 

**keujroo** : if you can, go downstairs. usually parents won’t hit their kid with someone around

**keujroo:** act normal. don’t pay much attention to them. sit in a different room but where they can see you. say you’re waiting for your ride bc it’s too far to walk or smth

**yuu-chan:** im gonna go downstairs then. oikawa can you pick me up from the address i just sent you?

**alienkawa** : yes ofc were otw

**keujroo:** please be careful. 

 

_ [December 5th, 11:39PM] _

 

**alienkawa:** were home safe. i have yuuji at my house, but he’s staying off his phone for a bit. he’s rly shaken up

**alienkawa:** he did want to thank you tho tetsu

**keujroo:** tell him not to sweat it

**keujroo:** when i was younger kenma’s dad was really mean to him but he’d never lay a hand on him if i was there. i basically lived with kenma when he couldn’t stay with me

**pure angel:** you’re a really good person kuroo

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Is Yuuji stable?

**alienkawa:** not really if i’m honest. hes no longer in hysterics so its an imporovemwnr 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Hug him for me

**alienkawa:** he started crying harder and he wants you to know that he “loves you despite your rough exterioe” 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I love him too

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** You guys are my friends. Although I doubted that Oikawa and I would ever be called anything similar to that. 

**daddy daichi:** I love all of you. Despite my screenname and the embarrassment you guys give me

**thicc owl:** hi sorry i was having a Moment but i’m glad yuuji is at your house and safe 

**thicc owl:** you guys are the best

**keujroo:** I can't believe that this dumb chat that i was hella skeptical of a month ago gave me new bros 

**thicc owl:** um excuse me why cant i be the only bro

**keujroo:** bro dont be jealous youre my #1 bro

**alienkawa:** tetsu n i r fiances asyway so 

**thicc owl:** cant be jealous of the men kuroo’s gonna marry i guess

**alienkawa:** im really glad i made this chat. 

**pure angel:** me too ❤️

 

_ [December 6th, 8:20PM] _

 

**yuu-chan:** thank you guys for last night

**yuu-chan:** he called me last night. he said that they didn’t hit him but they’re gonna cut him off from expenditures for a while and he’s grounded for three weeks. if he wants to communicate w anyone he has to use the house phone 

**yuu-chan:** they said it was disappointing that he’s gay but they’re also really upset that he didn’t tell them bc it just shows how little trust he has in them but that’s BULLSHIT bc he knew that they’d be mad and disappointed. that’s why he never said anything 

**yuu-chan:** his dads high key homophobic but his mom is mainly pissed that she didnt know

**alienkawa:** howre you?

**yuu-chan:** shaken but ok

**yuu-chan:** as soon as i got home from practice my mom hugged me and cried. as if on the phone wasn’t enough

**thicc owl:** so she’s supportive of y’all?

**keujroo:** texan

**yuu-chan:** yeah she is. she doesn’t want us to marry but that’s. way too much in the future for us to even think abt

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I’m just glad you’re both safe. 

**daddy daichi:** Same here. I also have a car so if something else ever happens you can also text me

**yuu-chan:** i’m starting to think i have 5 dads instead of just the three and i…… love all of their gay asses

**yuu-chan:** okay lets change the subject bc :) i will cry :)

**yuu-chan:** how’s iwa??

**alienkawa:** he punched me diring prsctice today and now i have a huge bruise on my arm

**keujroo:** OK RUDE NOT HOW YOU SEDUCE SOMEONE IWACHAN~~~

**pure angel:** i’ve never heard a more accurate impression of oikawa lmao

**keujroo:** are you going to tokyo pride oiks? ik you said pride but i want to be sure you meant tokyo

**alienkawa:** mhm!!

**thicc owl:** we’re going too we should meet up

**alienkawa:** YES 

**keujroo:** i invited kenma but he doesn’t wanna go. says it’s too much effort

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Valid

**thicc owl:** keiji can’t go either so don’t feel too bad 

**thicc owl:** if you want we can have a sleepover at my house!!

**yuu-chan:** can i tag along?

**alienkawa:** ofc!! 

**keujroo:** it’s gon b lit

**thicc owl:** kuroo is uninvited

**alienkawa:** who wants me 2 make them t-shirt’s

**thicc owl:** me!!!

**keujroo:** if you can make it hella gay (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

**alienkawa:** hell yeah i can

**yuu-chan:** i want one!

**alienkawa:** okie ill stayt on thm tmrw !

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I wish I could go, but I have practice. It sounds fun though.

**daddy daichi:** Suga and I are going next year. We want to go to our first together :)

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Aw that’s cute 

**pure angel:** is pride during winter break for you guys?

**alienkawa:** ye so i’m not ghnna rush home

**yuu-chan:** we don’t rly get a winter break tbh

**yuu-chan:** we get a long weekend and that’s it. it’s like we’re not in school fri-tues which is DUMB

**keujroo:** that is really dumb 

**keujroo:** my winter break is the week before and after pride

**thicc owl:** same here. guess tokyo just loves their youth more than miyagi

**pure angel:** probably we’re fuckin hell children

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I’m a perfectly good person

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I have a training camp over winter break, so it’s not really a break for me. 

**daddy daichi:** Mine is a week long, but I’m gonna actually kill myself because we’re having a sleepover at Suga’s house with the whole fucking team

**keujroo:** how’re you gonna fit the whole team in his house?

**daddy daichi:** Oh Suga’s family is loaded

**daddy daichi:** He has a huge room that would fit all of us and then some

**daddy daichi:** He just doesn’t like to flaunt it around

**alienkawa:** he doesnt seem like hed be rich

**alienkawa:** rich ppl intimiadte me

**thicc owl:** just to warn you then that i live “”comfortably””

**thicc owl:** most ppl live in apartments or townhouses here but i live in a single family home and it’s kind of large

**alienkawa:** can you get me a jar of pickles for when i come over then

**thicc owl:** sure? do you just love pickles or something

**alienkawa:** yeah esp the juice

**alienkawa:** the juice is just. so good. i drink it w a straw somETHINSD WRONF W ME

**alienkawa:** and iwachan hates them so i wanna torture him

**keujroo:** no wonder iwa fuckin abuses you

**alienkawa:** OK RUDE TETSUCHAN

**alienkawa:** omg im realixing that i only have 4 dsys to make 3 bomb ass shirts n also pack n i ned to call iwachan to tell him Yhe Plan lmao woe good job @me

**daddy daichi:** You made a typo when you were being serious

**pure angel:** skillz

**alienkawa:** blockt

**thicc owl:** forgot to let u know but kuroo and i are in the parade if you wanna join

**thicc owl:** it’s w fukurodani’s gsa

**alienkawa:** UM YES OF COURSE

**alienkawa:** tetsuchan if there r protestors we gotta kiss to pids them off omf

**keujroo:** UM DUH 

**keujroo:** gay shenanigans? sign me the FUCK up

 

_ [December 7th, 9:32PM] _

 

alienkawa: ok bo i finished your shirt n i hoope uou love it

 

**_alienkawa_ ** _ attached 2 photos _

 

**thicc owl:** OH MY GOD IT LOOKS JUST LIKE MY JERSEY

**thicc owl:** I LOVE IT SO MUCH THANK YOU IPQNDQEKJBWFJB

**alienkawa:** well i figured since you are the almighty vball cap’n of fukurodani it would tie in together

**alienkawa:** do you really like iy?

**thicc owl:** LIKE IS AN UNDERSTATEMTN 

**thicc owl:** ITS SO GREAT THANK YOU OIKAWA

**alienkawa:** im rly gad you like it

**alienkawa:** currently workin on tetsuchan’s but i should have it done by tomorrow night

**daddy daichi:** Will you make Suga and I’s for next year? You’re a really talented shirt maker obviously

**alienkawa:** of course!! Just remund me when it gets closer obvi but ill b thinkin of couplr designd untik then

**daddy daichi:** Thank you Oikawa :)

**keujroo:** i hope mine is Gay As FuCK

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** This is Oikawa you’re talking about. Of course it’ll be “Gay As FuCK”

**alienkawa:** lmao ushiwaka 2 riht

 

_ [December 9th, 7:52AM] _

 

**alienkawa:** ok so i stayed uo all night workin on tshirts n they are so brautfiul i screm

 

**_alienkawa_ ** _ attached 4 photos _

 

**keurjoo:** oh my god i fucking LOVE IT

**keurjoo:** plaster your tshirts all over my body i wanna wear them as skirts

**keujroo:** how the fuck did you get the dyes to separate when you did the shirt

**alienkawa:** lots of patience lmao

**yuu-chan:** woah i LOVE IT SO MUCH

**yuu-chan:** how did you know i love glitter

**alienkawa:** called a good boyfriend of yours and he told me uour tasts

**alienkawa:** im so glad u like them !!!!

**pure angel:** i’m! in love! marry me instead of kuroo! i suddenly feel romantic feelings for you!

**alienkawa:** OF COURSE ILY KANAME

**alienkawa:** ill probs be dead until tomorrow so gn love u all n see you in the morning. yuuchan ill see u at 6am sharp

**keujroo:** we’re meeting at bo’s and taking the train to the parade right?

**alienkawa:** yup yup :)

**keujroo:** okie doke see you tomorrow my dear 

 

_ [December 10th, 8:23AM] _

 

**yuu-chan:** oh my god oikawa and iwa look at eachother like they fuckin hung the stars in the skies and oikawa denies that iwa likes him

**yuu-chan:** how dense can he be

**alienkawa:** yOURRE INMABRASSING YOUR FATIHER YUUJI

**yuu-chan:** no ragrets

**keujroo:** that meme is stale

**yuu-chan:** mine may be stale but daichi’s are moldy

**daddy daichi:** i don’t have the patience for young children this early

 

_ [December 10th, 10:04AM] _

 

**alienkawa:** we’re 5 mins from bo’s

**alienkawa:** wouldve been there earlier BUT SOMEONE HAD TO PEE FOUR TUMWS

**yuu-chan:** IM SORRY I HAVE A SMALL BLADDER

**thicc owl:** IM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU!!!!

**alienkawa:** ME TOO IFENFEK

**daddy daichi:** Please tell Iwaizumi to take care of you. You’re all dumbasses

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Don’t die. I need to kick your ass again.

**alienkawa:** not a chance but i wont die ok

 

_ [December 10th, 10:54AM] _

 

**alienkawa:** so iwachan n bo BRO HUGGED WTF

**yuu-chan:** lmao i wish you wouldve seen the look on iwa’s face when you leaped at kuroo 

**keujroo:** LITRALLY TOORU GIVES THE BEST HUGS?????? WHOMST TAUGHT U TO HUG LIKE THAT

**daddy daichi:** First name basis now?

**thicc owl:** oya oya?

**daddy daichi:** Oya oya oya?

**keujroo:** FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY FUCKIN LINE DAICHI 

**keujroo:** second of all yeah he told me we could at bo’s house

**alienkawa:** were married u dumbfuzks

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Take pictures for us :)

**pure angel:** p u r e 

**yuu-chan:** i’ll be sure to !! o(｀ω´ )o

 

_ [December 10th, 1:34PM] _

 

**_yuu-chan_ ** _ attached a video _

 

**yuu-chan:** i cannot believe i witnessed that

**keujroo:** IT HURT DONT MOCK ME LIKE THIS

**thicc owl:** I CANT BELIEVE YOU GOT A VIDEO OF IT YOURE FUCKIN GREAT YUUJI

**daddy daichi:** Why is there a video of Iwaizumi fuckin DECKING Kuroo in the stomach? 

**daddy daichi:** That’s not a gut punch. That’s a deck that so happens to be in your stomach

**alienkawa:** IM SO SORRY FETSUCHAN IM LITEWDLLT THE WORST EVEF ITS ALL MY FAILT (´；Д；`)

**alienkawa:** so we made that agreement abt kissing in frusnt of the prodtesters right????

**alienkawa:** i honored it

**alienkawa:** and iwachan thiufhr it was some rando and punxhrf hm

**keujroo:** if you think it was bc he thought i was a rando you’re dead wrong tooru

**thicc owl:** he literally was on FIRE it’s bc kuroo touched what’s his

**alienkawa:** IM NOT IWACHANS (yes i totslly am) BUT NOT TO HUM

**alienkawa:** he wad jist protectfing me

**keujroo:** that was the punch of a very jealous man

**daddy daichi:** Listen here, Oikawa fucking Tooth, if you don’t think Iwaizumi’s head over heels for you, you’re stupid as hell and need to get your eyes checked. 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Oikawa fucking Tooth. 

**alienkawa:** i’m sorry whO

**daddy daichi:** My autocorrect doesn’t take away from the cold hard FACTS of Iwaizumi’s pure, unadulterated love and admiration for you. I have seen that look on many men’s faces, but never have I seen it so fiercely as it looks on Iwaizumi when he looks at you. 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** holy shit

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** you’re so serious and you cussed more than usual

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** is this what fear feels like

**yuu-chan:** tbh i’m definitely aroused 

 

**_alienkawa_ ** _ ’s nickname is now  _ **_oikawa fuckin tooth_ **

 

**_keujroo_ ** _ attached a photo _

 

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Honestly I've never seen Oikawa look so… speechless. 

**keujroo:** this is the quietest he’s been all day

**thicc owl:** talk to yall later tho bc we’re in the festival now!!

**keujroo:** texan

 

_ [December 10th, 9:38PM] _

 

**oikawa fuckin tooth:** iwa-chan doesn’t like me. stop telling me he does and feeding into my delusions. my feelings aren’t something to be made light of. they’re real and it hurts when you guys practically wave what could be in my face. it’s not funny for me anymore. 

**daddy daichi:** It never was funny Oikawa. We aren’t just playing a joke on you. 

**oikawa fuckin tooth:** fuck off. 

 

**_keujroo_ ** _ added  _ **_pure angel_ ** _ , _ **_daddy daichi_ ** _ ,  _ **_thicc owl_ ** _ ,  _ **_yuu-chan_ ** _ , and  _ **_ushijima wakatoshi_ ** _ to  _ **_fuck_ **

  
**keujroo:** oikawa’s locked himself in bokuto’s bathroom so how’re we gonna fix this


End file.
